Being present. Being in the moment. I see these catchphrases cropping up everywhere these days. Suddenly it’s hip to be Zen, and the idea of “being where you are” is a novel one, like we just invented it. It’s not a new concept, but I will agree that it is a very difficult one to cultivate. I recently stumbled across a book written by Deepak Chopra (“The Seven Spiritual Laws for Parents”) that is all about how to impart spiritual values into your child’s life. I love this idea and will definitely strive to be a role model and teacher for my child in that aspect. However, in my short stint as a mom, I’ve learned far more in this realm from my two-year-old than I could probably ever hope to learn from a book. In essence, children are wise little ones. If we listen closely (and yes, “be in the moment”), we can gain a wealth of knowledge from them.
Case in point … mornings at my home used to feel like a cross between a fire drill and a bad episode of “What Not to Wear.” My husband and I both worked full time, and my daughter went to daycare. I’d be racing around gathering pumping gear, trying to figure out lunch, kissing goodbye, entertaining my baby in the bathroom with whatever toys were handy, and tossing discarded outfits into the bedroom since nothing fit correctly in those postpartum days. I was usually frazzled by our 8 am departure, and no doubt my child could sense my frenetic energy. A year later, I decided to stay home and focus on our family, making my career about raising our child. This was my opportunity to concentrate and truly “be” with my daughter.
Ironically, I needed to learn how to focus and be Mom all day long. As with any job change, there was a learning curve. And Ella, my daughter and new boss, stepped up to the plate for my on-the-job training. One of the first quiet mornings we had at home I was busy making breakfast and was basically buzzing around the kitchen like we had somewhere to go in five minutes (we didn’t). I couldn’t seem to shake “busy mode.” It was insane … I was checking email, filling a sippy cup, making coffee, and oh yeah, clicking onto Facebook (Seriously? At 6 am? Why?). I heard my daughter’s sweet little voice call out, “Mommy!” from the other end of the kitchen. Not even turning around to acknowledge her plea I responded, “Yes, baby?” After about three more attempts to get my attention, she quietly padded over to where I was fiddling with the coffee maker and tugged gently on my bathrobe. I finally stopped long enough to look down, which she took as a cue to grab my hand and lead me over to the glass doors that look out onto our deck, and the woods and horizon beyond. “Sit, Mommy,” she urged, her enormous blue eyes shining and chubby little finger pointing to the morning sky. And it was then that I looked out to witness the most brilliant sunrise I have ever seen. We knelt on the floor, with Ella snuggled into my lap, and sat silently for a good 10 minutes watching the flaming oranges and pinks disperse into feathery pastels. It was amazing. And I almost missed it. It became a little ritual each morning for us to watch for the sunrise, an opportunity for me to start the day with the reminder to be where I am, and to keep my priorities and actions in line with my values. I am grateful to have my little Zen teacher by my side, reminding me (and yes, sometimes demanding) that I be present.
The most brilliant sunrise I've ever witnessed
Being where you are is a constant lesson and also a great reminder that none of us are perfect as parents. I still find myself running over my to-do list and wondering how we got to page 23 of “The Cat in the Hat.” But on days when I find myself particularly distracted or feeling like a whirling dervish, I know it’s time to stop and re-focus. My favorite way to do that has been to “give Ella some time,” which usually comes in the form of an outdoor adventure—a park or hike. The rules for me are simple: Put away my to-do list, turn off the cell phone, and allow my daughter to set the pace for our adventure (I have to resign myself from being the park director. There’s no “hey, Ella do you want to go over here and slide?” allowed). We usually stuff our Devyn Bag to the gills with outside treats like sidewalk chalk or little sandbox toys, and pack a lunch to stash in the cooler compartment of the bag. We load the car and make the five-minute trip to our local park or trailhead. Sometimes it’s an entire morning, and sometimes we only have time for a quick jaunt; but it never fails to put me back into the present tense. All I have to do is follow Ella’s lead. She takes time to smell the roses (literally!), and there have been times when we’ve sat on the same rock for a really long time just observing people that go by, cars, bugs, a mountain stream, you name it. It’s in these slow moments that I’ve truly watched my child grow and change right before my eyes, and I learn to help meet her changing needs.
My daily reminder to be in the MOMent
Kids can be amazing teachers if we simply allow them a voice. I challenge you to find ways in your everyday life to reap the rewards of being in the moment.
Embrace your MOMentum.
Amy Fisher is a regular and loved contributor to the Devyn Bag Blog.
If you'd like to share your story, email us at info@thedevynbag.com
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