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Thursday, August 25, 2011

Life in the Big City




OK, so it’s not really a big city, but to our two toddlers it is a gigantic universe. It was the notion of taming this universe that led my husband and I to brave the city via public transportation with our two children in tow one Saturday morning. Our goal: to expose our children to, and gain some familiarity with, the city that we live in. Think of it as giving our children the very beginning lessons of “street smarts.”

We chose to live in the city for many reasons, but it is strange how little we have exposed our children to its heart. Of course, we are frequent visitors to area parks and other outdoor destinations, but our children have yet to truly explore downtown in all its splendor. And what better way to see the city than through public transportation?



We climbed on to the light rail with relative ease, and within minutes we were zipping toward downtown. My son and daughter stared out the windows in amazement - their facial expressions clearly saying “this is better than the movies!” Before long, we were stopped and asked to depart the light rail and instead jump on a bus to downtown. Apparently construction had impacted our route. Undaunted, off we went onto a crowded and somewhat unpleasant smelling bus. The bus trip was considerably less appealing, but our children continued to love every minute of it!

Eventually, my daughter’s patience ended and she began to request - actually yell - to get “down.” It was then that I learned a lesson (or as my friend might say, I encountered a “teaching moment.”) At 17 months, my daughter adores walking and exploring constantly, so sitting still on my lap is unappealing to say the least. I braced myself for the sneers from angry bus passengers that I envisioned I was about to receive and let my daughter have her mini-temper tantrum. To my surprise, it was incredibly short lived, and within minutes, she was back to gazing at the sights and sounds of the city. It turns out that we both learned something: I learned to go with the flow, and my daughter learned that adapting is part of life.



We arrived downtown, and we headed to the Art Museum for some family fun. We spent the next hour or so investigating the play areas of the museum and ended the day with a sack lunch. My children were fascinated, interested, and eager to discover. They were exhilarated and exhausted at the same time. It was the perfect day. In the end, they experienced the same joy that we feel when traipsing through our beloved city.


“That was pretty successful,” my husband whispers but beams as we gingerly walk down the stairs trying to avoid waking our two napping little ones. “It was,” I agreed. The best part was that our children didn’t seem intimidated or scared by the city. Rather, they seemed remarkably at ease. In fact, they seemed at home. I think that more than anything is our on-going parenting goal: to continually teach our children to trust themselves, their instincts and to walk comfortably through this world witnessing all that life has to offer.

Embrace Your MOMentum

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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Little House on the Prairie



“We’re going to Neb-ras-ka!” my son sings as he literally bounces down the stairs with heartfelt enthusiasm. I had to smile since Nebraska is not exactly Disneyworld, but we were embarking a road trip and that was reason enough to be excited. I remember feeling the same glee over approaching vacations as a child. We rarely embarked on vacations because my father was and is a workaholic. He never felt that he could justify the time away, and my mother never pushed too hard to persuade him otherwise. Nonetheless, we took some amazing family trips to places like Idaho, South Dakota, and Wyoming so road trips have a special place in my heart.

I remember as a child climbing into the Volvo station wagon with my siblings, and immediately pulling out the “car toys” that my mom had purchased specifically for the trip. To this day thinking of that alone brings a smile to my face. Once we got on the road, I would begin envisioning my exact order at McDonald’s, which was always part of our family road trip experience. It was a treat after all, and I took full advantage of it by ordering a full meal and a cherry pie or ice cream cone or whatever else struck my fancy. It was pure bliss!

But back to our road trip to Nebraska: As we meandered our way out of the city, past the congested traffic, and made our way East, I worried about the drive and the next few days. I knew my children would have fun, but I was less convinced about the thrill of a long car ride, potential sleepless nights, and my restless toddlers. We finally arrived to a pristine blue sky – not a cloud in sight – with temperatures in the low 80s and a refreshing light breeze. The gang was waiting for us in the pool. I have to admit, it was picture perfect.

Over the next few days, I grew to truly appreciate the prairie and Nebraska: The expansive landscape, crisp clean air, tall grass, and the calm surroundings. I marveled at the relaxed cows grazing in the pasture and the overall sincerity of the plains. It was exactly what my children needed. In truth, it was exactly what I needed.



My children spent the entire time - day and night - outside. They played in the pool, ran around the spacious yard with their shoes off, chased chickens, swung lazily on the swing sets and giggled almost constantly with their cousins. Their cousins range in age, but they are remarkable individuals. They’re polite, sweet, and took incredible care of all of their little cousins. Really, all pre-teens and teenagers should be so great! It was a delight to watch them interact.

One evening as the sun began to set, I sat on the porch watching my son climb the play-set for the one hundredth time that day. Right at that moment, the gentle rays of the sun landed squarely on his face and perfectly reflected his gaze, and I saw one of the most beautiful things a parent can see on their children’s face: genuine contentment. Now that is what I call paradise. Maybe Nebraska is a better vacation destination than I thought. Maybe it is less about the destination and much more about the company you keep. After all, the best thing that life has to offer is the love of family, and I’m fortunate that my family is second to none.



Embrace Your MOMentum

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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Bad Moms



I’ve been reading a great deal about “Bad Moms” in the blogosphere as of late. One article said that “bad is the new good.” In fact, these so-called bad moms seem to be all the rage. Huh? Am I missing something? To back up, a bad mom is someone that does things that other moms wouldn’t approve of. Perhaps they let their kids race recklessly up and down the block, in the middle of the street, while screaming at the top of their lungs. Maybe they encourage their kids to jump on your couch, with their shoes on, while eating a melting ice cream cone. It could be almost anything; it just isn’t “good.” I don’t know. The whole notion makes my head spin. Why are moms buying into this? My inkling is that it is 1. Genuine mom-guilt, 2. Peer pressure from other non-supportive moms, or even worse, 3. Somehow, it is now perceived as hip to be a “bad” mother.

Assuming that it is the first of the potential scenarios, allow me to give some sympathetic advice from one mom to another: Cut yourself some slack! The things that you see as evidence of your failings are likely far from reality. As mothers, we are extremely hard on ourselves and just because you aren’t an exact replica of other moms out there, it doesn’t mean that you are somehow ill-fit. The truth is that having a different parenting style may make you an exception to the norm, but there is nothing wrong with being unique. I say enough with the guilt! If you know in your heart that you’re doing your best than you’re probably a much better mother than you give yourself credit.

Now assuming that it is the second hypothesis (peer pressure) then here is some wise motherly advice courtesy of my mom, “walk a mile in their moccasins” – yes moccasins not shoes for some reason – While I am far from perfect, my mom’s words are forever etched in my mind. The idea is a simple one: we should understand another mother’s circumstances and attempt to walk in their shoes. If we do this, we will be far less apt to judge others which would result in less pressure all around. After all, aren’t we all trying to raise our children to the best of our ability? Aren’t our goals for our children more similar than different?

This leads me to the third scenario that being a bad mom is in vogue which is the hardest one for me to put my arms around. The thing that I can’t understand is that moms are deeming themselves “bad.” These moms are intentionally classifying themselves in a negative light in the interest of being mod. Now that is a head scratcher! When I think of a bad mom, I envision an abusive or cruel person and quite honestly, I would never willingly put myself in that camp. The sad truth is that there are some truly bad mothers out there and to intentionally align yourself with an abusive/bad mom for the sake of being trendy, well, that just isn’t cool.

Embrace Your MOMentum

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