Confronting the Meltdown

There is nothing like having an audience when your child decides to hit the skids. It has happened to me more than once which makes me think I should have grown more accustomed to it by now, but instead it invariably throws me for a loop. I found it particularly challenging over the holiday to handle my child’s meltdowns, as I tried to connect with family that I don’t often see.  I struggled to communicate with relatives over the obvious displeasure of our little one. It was partially difficult because our time with my husband’s family is finite. We take our annual holiday trip east, but every year it seems to become shorter in duration and more jam-packed in nature. As a result, lengthy communication is already hindered at the start and conversation becomes downright daunting when your child is crying and screaming in your ear.

Such was the case this holiday. My daughter who is generally jovial and care-free had clearly met her limit of travel, unfamiliar faces, rushed agendas, and an overall hectic holiday schedule. Boy did she let me know her frustration! She was tired, fussy, and working on her two-year molars to add insult to injury. It was not pleasant. I felt the familiar twinge of embarrassment as I tried to console my daughter and ignore the expressions of pity, annoyance, and the other vibes that were floating around the room. I’m not sure why I feel embarrassed in these situations exactly, as even the world’s happiest children have their moments; but somehow, I always feel responsible. I feel culpable for my child’s displeasure as well as liable for negatively impacting others around me. It is one of those silly things that you can’t rationalize but do nonetheless.

Here’s the kicker: in the past, I would have run with the worry and the guilt. I would have held onto it like a blanket and let it suffocate my mood. However, my experience finally won out! I didn’t internalize it or question my parenting skills.  I threw off the blame and instead focused solely on resolving the problem. I took my daughter to a quiet place, sang songs to her, snuggled with her, and gave her what she really needed: relaxed time with mommy. It was satisfying and empowering. It is funny how life presents the same challenges over and over again until you get it right. On this day, I did it right. I evolved. 

Embrace Your MOMentum

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Toy Drive

We walk down the store’s aisle selectively reviewing the display of toys. My son and daughter determine which ones to examine more closely as we walk from aisle to aisle. After a little discussion, we have identified two toys for the Salvation Army Toy Drive. My children are young, but one of my parenting goals (and anyone that has read this blog before knows that I have many) is to teach my children empathy and giving at an early age. Fortunately, it is easier than I suspected. When I decided to ask my children to select toys for under-privileged children, I envisioned that my children would want to keep all the toys for themselves or that they would ask for a new toy as well as a toy for the other children. To my surprise, neither of these worries came to fruition.

My children thoughtfully examined each potential gift and readily discarded any that they didn’t feel cut the mustard. I could tell from their expressions that they were taking their responsibility seriously. In reality, I was amazed at their pensive consideration given their young ages. They wanted to give the perfect gift, and that was their focus. What was equally astounding was that they seemed to easily grasp the concept of helping other children. Their little faces turned serious when I explained why the task of selecting toys for other children was an important one. As is often the case, I found myself on the learning side of my planned education moment with my children: my children were teaching me that understanding and compassion can be fostered at any age.

You embark into parenthood believing that you will teach your children much of what they need to know, but in reality, you find that your children teach you just as much as you teach them. It is then that you realize how gratifying it is to learn as well as teach. It is one of the many remarkable and unexpected pleasures of parenthood.

Embrace Your MOMentum

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