Being in the MOMent

by Amy Fisher

Being present. Being in the moment. I see these catchphrases cropping up everywhere these days. Suddenly it’s hip to be Zen, and the idea of “being where you are” is a novel one, like we just invented it. It’s not a new concept, but I will agree that it is a very difficult one to cultivate. I recently stumbled across a book written by Deepak Chopra (“The Seven Spiritual Laws for Parents”) that is all about how to impart spiritual values into your child’s life. I love this idea and will definitely strive to be a role model and teacher for my child in that aspect. However, in my short stint as a mom, I’ve learned far more in this realm from my two-year-old than I could probably ever hope to learn from a book. In essence, children are wise little ones. If we listen closely (and yes, “be in the moment”), we can gain a wealth of knowledge from them.

Case in point … mornings at my home used to feel like a cross between a fire drill and a bad episode of “What Not to Wear.” My husband and I both worked full time, and my daughter went to daycare. I’d be racing around gathering pumping gear, trying to figure out lunch, kissing goodbye, entertaining my baby in the bathroom with whatever toys were handy, and tossing discarded outfits into the bedroom since nothing fit correctly in those postpartum days. I was usually frazzled by our 8 am departure, and no doubt my child could sense my frenetic energy. A year later, I decided to stay home and focus on our family, making my career about raising our child. This was my opportunity to concentrate and truly “be” with my daughter.

Ironically, I needed to learn how to focus and be Mom all day long. As with any job change, there was a learning curve. And Ella, my daughter and new boss, stepped up to the plate for my on-the-job training. One of the first quiet mornings we had at home I was busy making breakfast and was basically buzzing around the kitchen like we had somewhere to go in five minutes (we didn’t). I couldn’t seem to shake “busy mode.” It was insane … I was checking email, filling a sippy cup, making coffee, and oh yeah, clicking onto Facebook (Seriously? At 6 am? Why?). I heard my daughter’s sweet little voice call out, “Mommy!” from the other end of the kitchen. Not even turning around to acknowledge her plea I responded, “Yes, baby?” After about three more attempts to get my attention, she quietly padded over to where I was fiddling with the coffee maker and tugged gently on my bathrobe. I finally stopped long enough to look down, which she took as a cue to grab my hand and lead me over to the glass doors that look out onto our deck, and the woods and horizon beyond. “Sit, Mommy,” she urged, her enormous blue eyes shining and chubby little finger pointing to the morning sky. And it was then that I looked out to witness the most brilliant sunrise I have ever seen. We knelt on the floor, with Ella snuggled into my lap, and sat silently for a good 10 minutes watching the flaming oranges and pinks disperse into feathery pastels. It was amazing. And I almost missed it. It became a little ritual each morning for us to watch for the sunrise, an opportunity for me to start the day with the reminder to be where I am, and to keep my priorities and actions in line with my values. I am grateful to have my little Zen teacher by my side, reminding me (and yes, sometimes demanding) that I be present.

The most brilliant sunrise I've ever witnessed

Being where you are is a constant lesson and also a great reminder that none of us are perfect as parents. I still find myself running over my to-do list and wondering how we got to page 23 of “The Cat in the Hat.” But on days when I find myself particularly distracted or feeling like a whirling dervish, I know it’s time to stop and re-focus. My favorite way to do that has been to “give Ella some time,” which usually comes in the form of an outdoor adventure—a park or hike. The rules for me are simple: Put away my to-do list, turn off the cell phone, and allow my daughter to set the pace for our adventure (I have to resign myself from being the park director. There’s no “hey, Ella do you want to go over here and slide?” allowed). We usually stuff our Devyn Bag to the gills with outside treats like sidewalk chalk or little sandbox toys, and pack a lunch to stash in the cooler compartment of the bag. We load the car and make the five-minute trip to our local park or trailhead. Sometimes it’s an entire morning, and sometimes we only have time for a quick jaunt; but it never fails to put me back into the present tense. All I have to do is follow Ella’s lead. She takes time to smell the roses (literally!), and there have been times when we’ve sat on the same rock for a really long time just observing people that go by, cars, bugs, a mountain stream, you name it. It’s in these slow moments that I’ve truly watched my child grow and change right before my eyes, and I learn to help meet her changing needs.

My daily reminder to be in the MOMent

Kids can be amazing teachers if we simply allow them a voice. I challenge you to find ways in your everyday life to reap the rewards of being in the moment.

Embrace your MOMentum.

Amy Fisher is a regular and loved contributor to the Devyn Bag Blog.

If you'd like to share your story, email us at info@thedevynbag.com

Celebrating All Mothers

I was having lunch with a girlfriend recently, and I realized that while we’re both mothers, we have many differences. She works inside the home, and I work outside. She is a social butterfly and is involved in many mommy’s groups, whereas I’m thrilled when I manage to make it to book club once every 6 weeks. She is able to make delicious homemade cakes in the shape of a bear with edible trees which spell her daughter’s name, whereas I’m over the moon when my out-of-the-box cake comes off without a hitch. Despite our differences, we have much in common. We have similar philosophies, interests, and of course, we both love our children immensely. That last fact gives us an almost inexplicable bond.

I’m surprised by how often mothers get painted with the same brush. The notion that all mothers want and need the same thing is as incorrect as saying that all men love football (granted, a lot of them do, but still…). The same applies to breastfeeding. Some mothers wish to breastfeed and are simply unable. Other mothers decide early in their pregnancy that they prefer to feed their baby formula. The reality is that it is a personal choice. My preference was to feed my children breast milk because it was important to me and I was able to, but that doesn’t mean that it is the right decision for all women.

The Devyn Bag was created with nursing mothers in mind, but the bag’s versatility and ability to aid mothers through all the stages of their lives was also of significant importance. Our aim was to create a bag that could truly work for all mothers – breastfeeding and formula-feeding moms, professional and stay-at-home working moms, and mothers with infants, toddlers or older children. It is for this reason that the insulated and waterproof compartment can easily house formula and breast milk bottles/bags, snacks or sandwiches for the family. We also include a dry ice pack which, when hydrated, can be frozen or heated depending on your needs.

We believe that it is important to celebrate and honor the differences between women while delivering a product that works for all.

Embrace Your MOMentum

Lost in Mommyland

by Amy Fisher

Before I became a mother, I had a very vivid idea of the kind of parent I wanted to become. First of all, I was not going to lose myself in Mommyland. I’d be laid-back—nurturing yet not to the point of helicopter mom. I’d handle all the parental transitions with ease—from the L&D ward to home, and maternity leave to work. And life would go on just as my husband and I had known it, except that we’d have a precious child with which to share our adventures. Throughout our marriage, my husband and I have always shared a love of all things outdoors and adventure; it’s how we have always connected and made special memories. So when I became pregnant with our first child, we vowed that our lives wouldn’t revolve solely around our baby … she’d fit nicely into our world. She’d simply come with us on climbing trips and 20-mile hikes (as if just tucking the babe in a Camelback was as easy as stashing a Clif bar!) Oh, and I definitely was going to be a stylish mom. No black yoga pants for me, thanks.

But oh, how life can change in a few sacred moments. When your child is born, your world completely turns upside down in the best way possible, and everything you have known about yourself—good and bad—gets stretched and challenged. Your heart cracks wide open, making room for infinite amounts of love for your tiny little someone. And suddenly, little things like the fact that you’re still wearing yesterday’s pants or whether or not your pedicure is chipped seem mundane and meaningless compared to the fact that your baby just smiled at you. It’s a crazy all-consuming, transforming LOVE!

That’s how it was for me, at least. And “consuming” is definitely the keyword here. I dove into motherhood the way I do most things … giving it my all. Maternity leave was 24/7 mama and me time. My daugher, Ella, was the point of my day … learning how to feed her, what her cries meant, discovering her little personality, rocking and soothing her for four months straight as we braved the colic phase, and generally sleeping less than I ever care to in my life. That is how I spent my days, living and breathing baby. Oh and yes, I wore black yoga pants for days on end, shamelessly. By the time I went back to work, I was beyond burned out. I felt out of touch with the outside world, but most of all, I was sorely out of touch with myself.

In my all-consuming attention to my child, I’d neglected attention to me. It didn’t feel healthy anymore. I was adrift in Mommyland and had lost all identity except for Mommy. Suddenly, I knew that in order to become the best version of myself (wife, mom, friend, daughter, co-worker), I needed to reconnect with what really fueled my spirit. The funny thing was, when I tried to come up with just how to do that, my first thought was, “holy crap! What do I like to do these days?”

I figured it out. Running had always been my passion, and doing this one specific ultra-marathon had been a dream of mine ever since I’d heard about it. Bingo! I made a plan to reach my goal of a 50-mile race. So five months out from the big race, I started training. Every Saturday I’d haul all my gels, pumping gear (I was still breastfeeding), and camelback to the trailhead and spend hours on a 5-mile trail loop, stopping every 3 to 4 hours to hop in the car and pump. What seemed easy enough at first was actually a logistics nightmare. My car adapter for the breast pump didn’t work all that great, and I had no good way to store the breast milk until I got home. It was SO much work. Sadly, so much milk was dumped (except on the rare and exciting occasion when my husband would come roaring up to the trailhead with my baby so I could nurse her before her nap). I just recently became the proud owner of a Devyn Bag, and I swear, when I do this again, I am going to have none of these problems. It has a really cool feature (no pun intended) that allows you to store your milk directly from pumping for up to 12 hours. I think the best part is that it has a lot of roomy compartments, which will fit my gear perfectly. Oh and you can wipe it down with a damp cloth and it shines up like new, which is important if you are on a dusty trail (or crowded airplane, or frenzied mall …)

So I did reached the goals I set, the most important one being to reconnect with myself in the midst of motherhood. I learned that once we have a child, Mommy is not our only role, and that in order for me to be happy I need to “do my thing.” I’ve also learned that there are a million ways to be a good mom; motherhood does not look the same on everyone, nor should it. That’s what makes us all amazing women. Running a race was fulfilling for me, but perhaps to someone else, being fulfilled might mean embarking on a new hobby, taking a cool trip, or working your ass off to get that promotion. I hope that we can inspire and encourage one another in our endeavors as women. I encourage you to embrace your MOMentum and go after whatever it is that makes your heart sing.

Amy Fisher is a regular contributor to the Devyn Bag Blog.

If you'd like to share your story, email us at info@thedevynbag.com