Bad Moms

I’ve been reading a great deal about “Bad Moms” in the blogosphere as of late. One article said that “bad is the new good.” In fact, these so-called bad moms seem to be all the rage. Huh? Am I missing something? To back up, a bad mom is someone that does things that other moms wouldn’t approve of. Perhaps they let their kids race recklessly up and down the block, in the middle of the street, while screaming at the top of their lungs. Maybe they encourage their kids to jump on your couch, with their shoes on, while eating a melting ice cream cone. It could be almost anything; it just isn’t “good.” I don’t know. The whole notion makes my head spin. Why are moms buying into this? My inkling is that it is 1. Genuine mom-guilt, 2. Peer pressure from other non-supportive moms, or even worse, 3. Somehow, it is now perceived as hip to be a “bad” mother.

Assuming that it is the first of the potential scenarios, allow me to give some sympathetic advice from one mom to another: Cut yourself some slack! The things that you see as evidence of your failings are likely far from reality. As mothers, we are extremely hard on ourselves and just because you aren’t an exact replica of other moms out there, it doesn’t mean that you are somehow ill-fit. The truth is that having a different parenting style may make you an exception to the norm, but there is nothing wrong with being unique. I say enough with the guilt! If you know in your heart that you’re doing your best than you’re probably a much better mother than you give yourself credit.

Now assuming that it is the second hypothesis (peer pressure) then here is some wise motherly advice courtesy of my mom, “walk a mile in their moccasins” – yes moccasins not shoes for some reason – While I am far from perfect, my mom’s words are forever etched in my mind. The idea is a simple one: we should understand another mother’s circumstances and attempt to walk in their shoes. If we do this, we will be far less apt to judge others which would result in less pressure all around. After all, aren’t we all trying to raise our children to the best of our ability? Aren’t our goals for our children more similar than different?

This leads me to the third scenario that being a bad mom is in vogue which is the hardest one for me to put my arms around. The thing that I can’t understand is that moms are deeming themselves “bad.” These moms are intentionally classifying themselves in a negative light in the interest of being mod. Now that is a head scratcher! When I think of a bad mom, I envision an abusive or cruel person and quite honestly, I would never willingly put myself in that camp. The sad truth is that there are some truly bad mothers out there and to intentionally align yourself with an abusive/bad mom for the sake of being trendy, well, that just isn’t cool.

Embrace Your MOMentum

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